Today we have C.R.R. Hillin here to answer a few questions alongside the release of their brand-new release, *The Orphan’s King!*
Welcome! Can you tell us a little bit about yourself and what got you into writing?
“Why do I write?” is kind of the wrong question, because for me there’s never been any other option! I’ve wanted to be an author since I was 13 years old. But I’ve stopped seeing writing as a career and more just…a thing people do, like singing and dancing, even when they’re bad at it. It’s something humans just need to do. I don’t just write, I sing and paint and do all sorts of crafts, and I’m working on a video game and a graphic novel, because if I do not do those things, I will literally explode. And what’s the point of even being alive, if not to experience the world and use it as experience to create?
I have had kind of a bizarre life, of which writing has only played a small part (except to me). I have been invited into, kicked out of, and/or dropped from the roster on a technicality by more degree programs than anyone should ever reasonably have applied to. I speak three languages and play a couple of instruments. I recently fulfilled a lifelong dream of mine and moved to Germany (is German one of the three languages, you might ask? No, it is not). I have a black belt, and also asthma, which is not a combination I recommend. I have visited many cool places and climbed onto many inadvisable perches (ruins, rocks, some place called the Cheese Castle, etc). I have two kids (well, one point fetus) and three cats. I have pretty much the life you’d expect from giving someone with rampant AuDHD a full decade to explore their every interest. I have no idea how I summoned the energy to do literally any of it, but here we are.
Are there any books that have really influenced you as a writer?
Of course! I will read anything that sits still long enough, regardless of genre, and everything I read influences me in some way. Old favorites include The Wheel of Time series, the Inheritance Cycle, The Folk of the Air Trilogy, and a small collection of super weird niche books that I discovered as a kid and fell in love with. There are a few books that always inspire me to write better, and I’ll go back to them when I need inspiration. Every book I read teaches me something, even if it’s what not to do!
But I take storytelling inspiration from a lot of sources other than books. I love musicals and animated movies and horror movies (the more terrible the better), and webcomics, and all sorts of storytelling media. They all have their own unique way of operating, of telling the same story, and I am endlessly fascinated by the nuances there. I am actually a huge fan of video games as storytelling devices, and some of my all-time favorites – Assassin’s Creed 2, Witcher 3, the entire Legend of Zelda series, Elder Scrolls, Bioshock, Detroit — are all very obvious influences on my stories. If you don’t see it in this one, you’ll certainly see it in some of my other books!
What do you enjoy most about writing fantasy?
The escape from reality. Reality is the worst. I’ll read contemporary books all the time, but with my writing, the characters and their stories sort of build the world for me, and fantasy is the only genre that really allows that. I love to do deep research dives into a very specific culture and time period for my writing and base as much as I can around that, to the point where just making stuff up would be way easier (but it can help with writer’s block!) This series is based off of different areas of Europe during the early renaissance (it’s 100% because of the shoes; history nerds will know exactly what I’m talking about), but other series are based off other locations and time periods, to make the books almost like little time capsules (as best as I can).
And this is an example of one of my favorite parts of fantasy. People like to focus on how it’s different than reality, but I like to focus on how it’s the same, how it connects with us in our world. If it were too foreign, we couldn’t relate. My parents were always quite dismissive of fantasy growing up (in favor of nonfiction and reality) but I always saw it as a reframing of what is real. There’s truth in fantasy, deep, real truth about us and our world and human nature. We see ourselves and our lives in fantasy. Adding that little bit of suspension of disbelief allows us to build people and worlds beyond anything we will ever see in our real lives. I think that’s important—and I also think escapism is, too. With the world the way it is, I don’t see how we could get by without a little escapism now and then!
What inspired this book in particular?
There’s actually a story behind this that is both very interesting and extraordinarily lame. So, on my 13th birthday, Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans—and its sister hurricane, Rita, hit my hometown of Beaumont, TX afterward, with just enough time in between to create a national panic. Everybody was terrified of Beaumont becoming just like New Orleans, so the whole family (minus my dad, who worked as a firefighter, but including my sister, mom, cat, dog, and grandparents) packed into a Suburban and hit the road. Unfortunately, everyone had the same idea, and we all got trapped on the highway with the hurricane right behind us. You could literally see it forming, it was terrifying, and yet we literally could not move for 12-15 hours. That traffic jam and the day’s heat wave actually killed more people than the damage from the hurricane did, but the hurricane still took out our roof and the neighborhood’s electricity. So we were homeless and couch-surfing for a few months. That Christmas Eve, I woke up from this really vivid dream, grabbed a MEAD journal and a pencil from my backpack, and wrote down as much as I could. I already knew it would be called The Orphan’s Code, even if I had no idea what I was talking about (I still kind of don’t). When we finally got home, I sat down at the family computer and wrote 90,000 words in 3 months, then spent 3 more months researching how to submit it to a publisher. Finally, I submitted it to Bloomsbury, and obviously I got rejected because they have some modicum of taste. I’ve read it in passing years, and it’s equal parts Exodus and *Hamlet—*but since I didn’t read the Bible until my teens and Hamlet until my late 20s, what that really means is it’s equal parts The Prince of Egypt and The Lion King. It’s been 20 years since then, and very little remains of the original…and that is very much for the best! It’s grown up right along with me and evolved into the grand adventure it is today…but this does explain Kayo’s unflinching similarities with Edward Elric, doesn’t it?
What is your favorite aspect of Kayo’s character? What about Rose’s?
So, I say this with nothing but love for them, of course, but Kayo and Rose have a lot in common: they are both autistic, both young, and both deeply stupid in their own ways. And that’s what I love about them. In a way, they’re like two sides of the same coin, and that coin is me, also autistic and also deeply stupid and constantly messing up where those two things intersect. Their character flaws are very much on purpose, even the ones that make them frustrating. Kayo is a giant nerd who struggles with morality and overthinks things, who loves to learn new skills and has a bundle of mental illnesses and just wants people to love him as much as he loves them, even if it literally kills him. And Rose is a chaotic, violent little goblin who hates everyone and would rather stab someone than try and settle a disagreement with them. She’s every part of me that everyone always hated. And her arc isn’t learning to sit down and shut up—it’s learning to love yourself as you are, that true courage is being vulnerable, and that the euphoria of being loved is worth the mortifying ordeal of being known.
Kayo is really special to me because he has depression (as part of his vast cocktail of Things Wrong With Him). I had clinical depression from a young age and I just couldn’t ever see myself becoming a dragon rider or a swashbuckling hero or a cool assassin type. And it turns out there is a very good reason for that, because depression is so hard to write in a fantasy character. He can’t be too whiny, too angry, or too tired, because he still has to be reasonably likeable and proactive. He can’t lay in bed all day, because then the plot can’t happen and the people around him—and the people reading him—won’t like him anymore. He’s only allowed a small handful of mental breakdowns. The plot is built around his struggle with this, and as hard as it is to write, I need him to come through in the end. Maybe we all do—or at least, those of us with depression. We need to know that it’s even possible.
But they are not my favorites. Liam and Romero are my favorites, and both for the same reason. They are mirrors of each other, set on the same parallel path of loneliness and violence at the same very young age due to similar types of trauma. Romero is the essence of rich white guy fragility, with an inflated ego, a clever mind, and unbridled power, which makes him easy to write and fun to hate—but he is also deeply damaged, and Lucy insisting that he is worth redeeming brings up a lot of fun questions about if he will or even can become better. **And Liam, while acting as a force for good, is not a good person. We will come to learn that he’s abusive, manipulative, completely lacking in empathy, allergic to expressing human emotion, and enjoys hurting and killing people. But he channels all of that into actions judged heroic by the people he’s avenging and helping. Kayo will battle endlessly with himself over what people deserve and whether he’s qualified to decide that, and he fully believes he is a bad person, but Liam and Romero are the real deep dives into morality and villainy.
Can you tell us about your writing space? Where do you do most of your writing?
So, I recently moved to Germany from the US, which has been…chaotic. I also have a toddler, a fetus, and three cats, one of whom has very loud allergies. My writing space is wherever I can find a little peace and quiet (though the fetus is inescapable, I fear). This book wasn’t written on a typewriter or a nice little home office or in the corner of a cozy coffee shop. It was written in airport lobbies, hotel rooms in Germany and Portugal, scribbled in a notebook I got in a dollar store that says That Btch,* outlined in the notes app on my phone, and plastered on sticky notes on a giant box in the living room. Mostly, it was written on my bed, with snacks.
What helps you when you have writers block?
I wish I knew. I’ve had it a million times, and with book 2 of this series it’s been the worst it’s ever been! I used to just wait it out, but that’s no longer an option. So I’ve tried switching the fonts, switching programs, switching mediums, switching to reading, switching to video games, switching antidepressants—all sorts of things. I’ve tried not even looking at it, and I’ve tried meticulously and religiously pouring hours of effort into it every day even when nothing feels right. But sometimes, things just need to marinate, or you need inspiration from a particular source to make that last little bit fall into place. I do not have advice on the matter.
What are some things you are really enjoying right now? Books, TV, foods, etc.?
That is a very dangerous question. I do not “like” things, I either have no interest in them or they slow-roast in my brain like a rotisserie chicken for months until they’ve formed part of my core personality. And also, I’m the mom of a toddler. I don’t get to catch up on The Expanse or Dune 2, instead I watch what he wants to watch, which is Turning Red, The Greatest Showman, or The Lion King for the 400th time **if I’m lucky…and Paw Patrol if I’m not. And when his screen time is up, so is mine.
I have an ongoing blog on my website with indie author spotlights, including reviews of the ones I loved. I mostly read indie books nowadays, especially queer books, but I’m a huge fan of Fourth Wing! I have a shortlist of movies and shows that I rewatch over and over again, including Bob’s Burgers, Supernatural, Fullmetal Alchemist, Eureka Seven, silly sitcoms, and bad horror movies. The Good Place, Avatar: the Last Airbender, The Haunting of Hill House, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and the best of the Ghibli films are all my go-to examples of excellent writing and I will go back to them when I need inspiration. Same with video games (Bioshock Infinite, Horizon: Zero Dawn, and Detroit: Become Human being my favorites in regards to writing), webcomics (favorites: Gunnerkrigg Court, Dominic Deegan, and Questionable Content), and everything else. I’m pretty picky about what I like, and there is no way of knowing if I will enjoy something, so when I do find something, I never let it go.
Want to know more about The Orphan’s King?
A richly crafted debut from a strong new voice in fantasy. Book one in The Orphan’s Code gives us fierce, relatable characters, and a noble quest to root for. You will remember C.R.R. Hillin.
HE CAME FROM NOTHING.
With sheer force of will, Kayo’s brother Liam managed to crawl from the gutters and free himself from parents who treated him like a slave, an orphanage that treated him like a prisoner, and an entire city that turned their backs on him. From nothing, he rose to become a vigilante who brought justice to the corrupt and greedy when no one else would, wielding fire and steel to give everyone, from the city guard to the tyrant king, what they deserved. He stood up for the poor, the outcast, and the downtrodden, and they crowned him as the Beggar’s King.
But now he’s gone. And Kayo, who comes from less than nothing, can’t take his place–even if he wanted to.
Which he doesn’t.
AND SO DID SHE.
She never had a name, or a home, or a family. She never needed one. But then an opportunity falls–literally–into her lap, and a group of outcasts just like her offer her a home. They even give her a name: Rose.
That nameless girl would have robbed them blind and left them to starve or be captured. But Rose…that’s someone new. And as the king cracks down on the city around her, Rose sees a chance to save the legacy of the Beggar’s King and bring back to life the only man the king ever feared.
More about C.R.R. Hillin:
C.R.R. Hillin (she/they) is from Beaumont, Texas and Austin, Texas, but now lives in Bavaria, Germany, where she pretends she isn’t three alligators in a trench coat. Originally pursuing a career in medicine, she took a detour into childcare and social work, got kicked out of therapist school, taught science and ELAR, and then ditched all of that to pick up graphic design and disability/queer advocacy. As a proud AuDHD she picks up skills and hobbies all over the place, usually book-related, and is now proficient at digital art, cover design, graphic design, audio and video editing, video game writing, languages (Spanish, Italian, German, French), Tae Kwon Do, and a dozen different softwares as well as writing. Her toxic trait is painstakingly researching any and all things pre-1600 A.D instead of working and then ditching it all to write fanfic instead. She’s destined to die petting something she shouldn’t. Probably a polar bear, but her husband’s cat Weasel is definitely plotting something.
